It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!
A door slammed. Someone screamed.
Suddenly a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!
Quickly the pirates came ashore, and found a dog sitting
with a typewriter. Grinning evilly, they vandalized the doghouse,
stole the typewriter, and plagiarized the novel in the
typewriter. 'Ho ho!' they yelled as they kidnapped the dog.
'We'll have you working for US now, ha ha! Let's see
how you like writing commercials for MET LIFE! Bwahaha!'
The dog panicked and cried out for help, but to no avail.
A door slammed. Someone screamed. Suddenly a dark ship hoved into view.
It was a vast and cumbersome boat and from the decks a dreadful cacophony could be heard.
Another door slammed. Someone screamed again. An irate pirate stuck his
head through the door of the little dog's room.
"Keep it down in here, will you?" he ordered. "Some of us are trying
The beagle, with the strength of desperation, broke the chain that
bound the typewriter to the table and hurled it at the pirate.
The fiend ducked, but tripped over a cannonball and collapsed on
the foredeck, whatever that is.
A door slammed. Someone screamed. The dark ship tossed on the
waves, and several pirates got ill.
The small dog waited until all the pirates had their backs turned,
leaning over the rail, and then tip-pawed out of his tiny cabin.
He trotted over the forecastle and down to the poop deck, where he
paused, panting, by a large door.
The door slammed! Then the very wooden planks screamed! Well, they
sort of creaked, actually. But it was very loud.
The poor dog, panic-struck, dashed back to the deck, where he was
immediately surrounded by the bloodthirsty, greedy pirates!
All looked lost!
Just then, before the door could slam and scream again, a shadow
passed over the sun. Yes! It was a Sopwith Camel, diving down
out of the sky, guns blazing, bullets flying, inspirational
background music playing! Pirates scattered on all sides, jumping
overboard without benefit of lifeboats. Through it all, the
dog cheered wildly for the flying ace.
but the door screamed ... and something slammed ...
the beagle dove for cover, taking his eyes off the flying ace ...
(which was a good thing, 'cz he looked *really strange without them in his head)
the sopwith camel screamed ...
the dog shot out of his lethargy ... but it was too late ...
a tiny yellow bird appeared in the midst of the grovelling pirates
and claimed the territory as 'woodrow's wrest' ... the end?
it was a dark and stormy night ... the beginning of the end ...
or the end of the beginning ...
a door slammed ... a shot rang out ...
So it wasn't quite the end - all this shooting and slamming and screaming had finally gotten to the dog. It loaded up the cannons and fired towards shore in acts of random violence. Unfortunately, the dog managed to hit it's own doghouse, and blow up the plagarized novel. Sadly, the dog grabbed it's typewriter and headed for home.
Upon arriving at home, the tired actor removed his dog suit. "What a night," he grumbled. "I should've taken the Elephant trainer job at the circus and saved myself a lot of humiliation." He walked into the kitchen and switched the light on.
A door slammed. Someone laughed.
Suddenly a vast ship appeared on the horizon.
Strange noises could be heard from the decks -- a cacophony of barks and snorts, yowls and grunts.
Indistinct forms crowd the night dark deck ... indistinct, but surely not human!
add It was an Ark, and story night!